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Fear!!

Posted by James on January 9, 2015
Posted in: PCT. 3 Comments

65 days to go!

I touched on fear/being scared in one of my previous blog posts.  Several people have asked what some of my fears are.  Others have said I must be fearless.  And while following several Facebook groups, I have seen a number of people ask fear related questions.

I wanted to write a little bit about this.  The truth is, I have a huge number of concerns, or what some may consider fears.  I am not fearless by any means!  Here is a short list of things I am concerned about.

Being gone 5 months!

“Missing” the entire summer.

Loneliness

Relationships

Failing

Financial

The “unknown”

Being gone 5 months and “missing” the entire summer.

I know for some people, this kind of adventure is old hat.  They have done it before, and know what they are getting into.  I don’t have this experience, nor do I know anyone personally that has undertaken such a complex and lengthy endeavour.  So, I have read a lot about it, planned the best I can, and hope to be able to use my other life experiences to “wing it”.

So, I have never been away from home for 5+ months.  I have absolutely no idea what this is going to be like.  My bed, my closet full of clothes, a daily shower, will all be luxuries I won’t have.  While I am expecting several of my friends and family to come visit me on the trail.  The vast majority of the time, my friends will be at home, living life as usual.  Which rolls right into “missing” the entire summer.

While I won’t miss the summer as I will be experiencing summer from the trail, I will miss the summer with my friends and family.  Many of our summer routines and traditions will carry on without me there.  Pool parties, birthdays, pride, the beach, are all things I will miss out on.   While I have no doubt, I will have some amazing experiences, and everyone will wonder what I’m up to, I will be missing life as usual.

Loneliness

I grew up an only child, living somewhat in the middle of nowhere.  We had a few neighbors but for the most part, I spent my formative years entertaining myself.  I became very self-reliant this way.  Fantastic.  Since then, I have developed an amazing network for friends, many of whom I consider family.  We spend a LOT of time together.  This support structure wont be available for an adult beverage when I need to talk about something, or need a boast to my morale.

Relationships

I’m of no illusion things will be the same when I get back.  5 months is a long time.  People grow, and change.  My absence will leave a void in many relationships that will culminate in new relationships being formed.  Will there still be room for me when I return?  What will have changed?  I know I am going to change a tremendous amount because of my experience.  Will my friends still want to be around me?  Will I want to be around them?

Failing

This.is.a.big.one.  There are about 47 million and a half “what if’s”  What if I get injured.  What if I fall off the side of a mountain and die, what if I get eaten by a wild pack of Madagascar zombie lemurs!  All of these will result in failing at what I set out to do.  Now granted if I die, it is unlikely i will give a shit I failed, however, any other instance in which I don’t complete the trail, will be failure, and that is absolutely terrifying.  All the time, energy, support, and encouragement so I can go out there and not complete what I set out to do?  What a waste.

Financial

Another big one on the list.  Over the last 15 years, my husband and I have managed to work our way up in corporate america, achieving success, and building a wonderful life for ourselves.  Many of the fantastic experiences we have had are a direct result of the success we have achieved financially.  So, what would anyone with a lick of common sense do?  Of course, quit their job and take 6 months off to go wander around the wilderness.  Makes sense right?  Well, not exactly.  There are days, I absolutely think I’m out of my mind.  There has been more than one person that has pointed out, I will have a large time gap on my resume and hiring managers often question these.  What if I get back and can’t find another job?!  What happens when we deplete our savings, and are left to live on the streets?!  OH THE HUMANITY.  (of course this is unlikely, I havent starved yet, and I likely won’t in the future)

The fear of the unknown

I tend to be a rather methodical person, I always have a plan.  I’m always well researched, and have large knowledge base in which to pull from.  Great!  The problem is, what am I NOT thinking of?  What am I missing?  Are there things I am going to encounter that I havent the foggiest idea how to deal with?  Oh no!

So what gives?

After reading all the things I am afraid of, many of you might be wondering WHAT THE HELL are you thinking man!?  Why on earth would you potentially risk so much, just to walk a trail and be gone for 5 months?   The short answer, “because it’s there”.

The long answer.  Many people think I’m going on this journey to “find myself”.  I don’t believe I am lost.  I have a pretty good idea of who I am, and what I’m capable of.  Personally, I think it’s very important to continually challenge ourselves.  Without challenges and struggles, it is impossible to grow.  In paraphrasing Dean Karnazes, ” I have never felt so alive as when I am struggling and in pain.  It’s in these moments in which we see who we really are.”  I have competed in endurance events for quite some time, and have always loved the outdoors and hiking. As Brian has said to me and others, this seems to be the next logical step.   I would go as far to say, the trail has called to me.  And by a number of fortunate circumstances, I am able to answer the call.

I believe nature has a way of chipping away the walls we put up, and the bullshit we feed ourselves.  Removing yourself from modern society and all its many conveniences and distractions provides an opportunity to look within and really connect with what really makes you tick.  In many regards I think I have become somewhat unfriendly and jaded.  I’m taking this as an opportunity to unplug from my civilized life and go down a path few have traveled. Through it all, I feel I will be a better man.

I would be remiss to not include I enjoy being a badass.  There is an element of pride when people learn of an accomplishment of mine and say, “You did what?  Oh I could never do that.”

I disagree with them, of course. I believe anyone can. It’s simply a matter of, how bad do you want it?  It is being this inspiration which provides a portion of the driving force for me to undertake such challenges.

Preparations Continue

Posted by James on January 3, 2015
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

71 days and counting

Over the holiday break from work, I have spent a good chunk of time preparing my food, going through my gear and otherwise preparing for the trail. I have started the tedious task of putting together my resupply boxes. Our home office looks like a mail sorting room. Things are coming together!

More (Funny) Food Prep

For those of you unaware, I spent my middle and high school years in New Mexico. During those formative years, I became quite the connoisseur of green chile. Those of you from New Mexico or the surrounding southwest know exactly what Im talking about. Sure, there are chile’s from other regions that are spicy and have pretty good flavor, but unless you are from the region you don’t know what you’re missing out on. These chiles can be rather mild to intensely hot.

In preparation for the trail, I have been making copious quantities of dried foods. Dried fruit, beef jerky, and various other items that dehydrate well. A few weeks ago I had the idea of drying some of the roasted green chile I had in the freezer from this seasons chile harvest. So I loaded up 5 dehydrator trays with medium and hot chiles and set to it, The aroma from the drying chiles was delightful. It smelled up the whole house with the delicious smell of roasted chile. Smell GOOD.

Now along with the dehydration of copious amounts of food, comes the process of vacuum sealing all the dried food. I have become a vacuum sealing machine! In packaging food over the last several months, I have killed one vacuum sealer and am in the process of breaking (in) the second.

After the chiles dried, I needed to vacuum seal them to keep them “fresh” over the next few months for the trail. In surveying the situation I had the idea that I would grind the chiles up to put them in a substantially smaller vacuum bag. So, I busted out the Vitamix. It is the very best blender on the planet, in my not so humble opinion. I threw several trays worth of dried chiles in the blender and started turning the long flat green chiles into powdered. It worked flawlessly, UNTIL, I took the lid off to dump the now super fine chile powder into a bowl so I could divide it amongst the various portions. And thats when it started. It was like someone set off an allergen bomb in the house. My nose started running, my eyes were watering, I started coughing as if I had been smoking 3 packs a day for 30 years! I imagine the sensation was similar to being pepper sprayed. The heater was on, so within moments, my husband started hacking and sneezing in the living room. It took nearly an hour for the house to air out and the allergen bomb to subside.

Lesson learned – if you’re going to grind green chile, do it outside, with a respirator, hazmat suit and gloves. Only then will you be safe from the fine particles of fire the blender kicks up.

More food Prep

Posted by James on December 28, 2014
Posted in: Uncategorized. Leave a comment

78 days and counting!

Food Prep

I believe I am nearing the end of my food prep.  There are only a few odds and ends to purchase and package at this point.  Yesterday was my biggest food day by far.  I packaged and organized about 126,000 calories.  Its pretty remarkable how many calories are going to be required!

I have calculated my calorie requirements for the trail to be around 600,000 on the low end, and 700,000 on the high end.

There are multiple ways to plan your food for the PCT.  One methodology is to ship the majority of your food from home to different supply points on the trail.  Another is to purchase your food exclusively on the trail.  And finally, there is a hybrid model where you ship some food from home to the hard to resupply locations and buy the remainder of your food on the trail.

There are arguments for an against each resupply strategy.  I decided early on I would ship my food from home, and only pick up incidental items while I am in town.  This will ensure I have a consistent supply of reasonably healthy food, while cutting down on time in town.  There is always the risk of getting sick of the food you are sending yourself.  However, I have a very wide variety of foods I packaged, so hopefully this wont be an issue.   The one caveat to this is trail mix.  Its LOADED with calories and I generally like it, but I can foresee having my fill.

The Holidays

I took a few days of PTO from work in addition to the time off my company offers.  As a result I have 17 days off work.  Its been great to be able to spend a lot of time prepping for the trail.

My husband made an interesting observation a few nights ago while on our way home from a holiday party.  He said, “When you start talking about the trail, you instantly become “The Most Interesting Man in the World” (a nod to the dos equis commercials).  He went on to say the where ever I am, the room stops and all attention focuses on me.  People are awestruck that I am planning to hike 2600 miles over 5 months.

You can see envy in many of their eyes.  While they may not want to hike for 5 months, many would LOVE to take 5 months for a grand adventure.  My only advise to them is, DO IT!   While 5 months might be to long for most people, I believe everyone needs to take the time to experience their “dreams”.

Q and A, PCT Questions and Concerns

Posted by James on December 18, 2014
Posted in: Uncategorized. 2 Comments

Along with the amazing support I have received from family and friends, there have been a number of questions.  I’m sure some of you have the same questions and concerns, so I thought I would throw together a short Q&A of the recurring questions I am getting.

Q:  Whats the PCT, and how long will you be gone?
A:  The Pacific Crest Trail is a ~2660 mile trail running from the Mexican border in Campo, CA, to Manning Park, BC, Canada.  Generally people can complete the hike in 4 to 6 months.  I am hoping to finish in the 5 month time frame.  My current departure date is March 15th, 2015.  I am hoping to finish by Mid August.

Q.  Are you hiking the trail alone?
A. While I am not hiking with a friend, I will be hiking with hundreds of other like-minded people.  Last year there were approximately 1300 hikers who attempted the PCT.  Most people start between mid March and mid May.  I belong to several forums, as of right now, there are 5 people starting their hike the same day I am.  While I won’t be hiking with a “friend”, people generally make fast friends on the trail.  (sarcasm) So for those of you who truly know me, you know I will be hiking alone the whole time (/sarcasm).

Q:  Your trip seems rather sudden.  Is everything ok?
A:  The desire to hike the PCT has stretched back many, many years.  I learned about it in my mid 20s and over the last several years, have participated in a large number of endurance events.  I believe Brian put it best when he said, “This is the next logical step in his fitness/life endeavours.”

For those of you wondering, Yes, I have read the book “Wild” By Cheryl Strayed.  I have also seen the movie.  Both are worth indulging in, however, they had nothing to do with my desire to hike the trail.  It is a coincidence the movie came out around the same time as my hike of the PCT.

I have been in the planning stages for the trail since mid summer when it appeared the stars were going to align for this trip.

And finally, Yes, everything is great.  I am in good health, my relationships have never been better.

Q:  Are you scared?  You’re going to be in the wilderness with Lions and Tigers and Bears! What if something happens!?
A:  I am very comfortable with my backcountry skills.  Surprisingly, animal encounters are pretty rare on the PCT.  Many hikers go the whole distance without ever seeing a bear or mountain lion.   I’m more apt to be struck by lightning than get mauled by a bear or mountain lion.

In the event I become injured from an accident, I will have the means to summons Search and Rescue to hitch a ride in a fancy helicopter.

As with all things, there is risk involved.  Some of the most rewarding things in life, come with a good deal of risk.  Being aware and prepared for those risks is half the battle.   If it came down to it, and I passed away on the trail, I would have died doing something I loved.  As opposed to having a heart attack at my office, or being hit by a bus.  Which way would you prefer to go?

Q:  What about Brian?
A:  He is available for dates….Just kidding.  He has been absolutely amazing.  I couldn’t ask for a more supportive husband.  He will be coming for several visits while I am on the trail.  Additionally, I won’t be totally without technology.  We will communicate regularly.  While being away for ~5 months will be incredibly difficult, we have always said, we each need to have our own passions.  Without them, we would not have new experiences that allow us to grow, and share with each other.

“The journey of a thousand miles, begins with a single step.” Laozi

Trail

Food Prep

Posted by James on December 17, 2014
Posted in: Uncategorized. Tagged: PCT, planning. 2 Comments

Spent several hours this evening packaging food for the trail. This is what 52,000 calories looks like.

IMG_2321.JPG

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